How Can I Introduce Sex Toys Into the Bedroom?

Want to introduce your boyfriend or husband to your vibrator? If you don’t know how he will react to a sex toy, or if you fear a bad response, follow these tips to put his mind at ease and start having a lot more fun in the bedroom.

Start out with simple communication. How does he feel about sex toys? Does he feel like they would be an interesting addition to playtime? Or does he feel threatened he’ll be replaced by sex toys? Reassure him that vibrators are an enhancement to sex, just like massage, candles, music or erotica. Let him know that many vibrators are made to stimulate both of you. Reassure him that some of your friends are experimenting with sex toys, and that above all, it can be a fun adventure for you to embark on together.

Assure him that he’s good enough. He might be scared that he’s not doing things right, and become insecure. Let him know that just because you want to add a new element to sex, doesn’t mean you want to replace the him. Let him know that you want sex to remain an adventure for both of you, and that sex toys can enliven that adventure.

Let him know about any insecurities you’re having. It takes men less time to become fully aroused, and men can generally orgasm faster than women. If it takes you longer to become turned on (which is normal), mention this to him. Tell him about the way this makes you feel (hurried? inadaquate? frustrated?). Let him know you’d like to keep up with him so you can experience simultaneous pleasure. Remind him that women need a lot of clitoral contact, which is hard to get in some sexual positions. Let him know you love what he’s doing. You’d just like to see what else you can experience.

If you can’t come without a vibrator, be honest with him. Men want you to have a good time in bed, and most men understand the importance of the clitoris. Let him know that you can only have an orgasm with the intense clitoral stimulation of a vibrator, and that’s just the way your body is. Tell him you want to experience orgasm with him. He’ll probably think it’s a great idea.

Finally, see our Couples’ Sex Toys page. We carry a myriad of sex toys made specifically to pleasure you and him. Let him in on the shopping experience at This way he can help you pick something out and you can keep communication open during the entire process. If you are having a hard time deciding on a toy, take a look at our Conservative Couples Guide or Adventurous Couples Guide for our expert suggestions.

You may have noticed that we really only have one tip for you when it comes to introducing sex toys to your partner: open, honest communication. As long as you have a loving, respectful relationship with your partner, you should be successful incorporating sex toys into play just by openly discussing how you feel.